Back in time (Steve x Reader) Chapter 5

Back in time - Chapter 5


You were standing on top of the edge of a large groove in one of the mountains surrounding a pass. Train tracks could clearly be seen down below, but it was a long, long way down. You closed your coat further around you and rubbed your freezing hands together in an attempt to warm them.

‘Careful, agent [Last Name],’ someone spoke to you from behind. ‘You might fall over.’

You turned around, seeing Bucky standing behind you. You smiled awkwardly, thinking about the fall he would be making very, very soon. If there was only something you could do about that. Knowing that you couldn’t without changing everything was a bitter pill to take.

‘Wouldn’t that be convenient to them,’ you replied, nodding at the Howling Commandos who were working hard to get everything in order before the train with doctor Arnim Zola on board would arrive.

Bucky looked behind him and sighed, shaking his head. ‘Just because they don’t trust you, doesn’t mean they want you dead. You can’t really blame them though. You’re still not willing to tell us who you work for. In these days that would say more than enough, was it not for the fact that you saved Steve’s live.’

‘I want to tell you, but I can’t. It might change everything.’

‘I understand. Don’t get me wrong, I do trust you, but it would make it a lot easier for them to do the same if they at least knew something.’

You nodded, knowing he was right. There just wasn’t anything else you could tell them without endangering everything you had been working for the last few days. You had been able to win Bucky’s trust as well as Steve’s. You weren’t so sure about the colonel however, but he did let you come along on this important mission. If this would succeed – and you knew it would – then maybe he would give you the files back and let you destroy them. The only thing you were worried about, was that they would blame you for Bucky’s death.

You swallowed hard, thinking about that again. If only there was something you could tell him that would comfort him in his Winter Soldier days.

‘Bucky, I…’ before you could finish your sentence however, one of Steve’s men called everyone together.

‘You were right,’ Gabe said, speaking to Steve. ‘Doctor Zola is onboard of that train. HYDRA dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they must need him bad.’

Steve looked back at Bucky, who nodded at him and gestured you, you should get ready. Steve put his helmet on his head and let Jacques put the harness, needed to get down to the train, around him.

‘Let’s get going,’ James said, putting his binoculars down. ‘There moving like the devil!’

You nodded, letting Jacques put the harness around you as well. You made sure it was attached to the right hook and took your position between Steve and Bucky.

‘We’ve only got a ten second window,’ Steve told Jacques. ‘You miss that window… we’re bugs on a windshield.’

‘Way to comfort us…’ Bucky whispered to you and you suppressed the urge to smile. This wasn’t the time to laugh about jokes. It was time for action.

Jacques was counting the seconds, while the rest of the Howling Commandos looked at either the train or the three of you anxiously. They hadn’t agreed with you going onboard of the train together with Steve and Bucky, but Steve had made very clear that he trusted you and that they should do the same. They still hadn’t listened to him, but as Bucky had said: you couldn’t really blame them.

‘Maintenant!,’ Jacques cried out, gesturing to Steve he should get going.

Steve jumped off the groove, holding on to the hook that was attached to the large cable that went down all the way to the ground. You followed him quickly, feeling the icy wind cut through your thick clothing as if you were wearing nothing at all. A layer of ice covered your face and your muscles felt sore, but you had to hold on just a few moments longer.

Steve had already landed on the train and he quickly jumped out of the way as you clicked off your harness and landed right next to him. He caught your arm when you were about to fall off and pulled you to him, into his arms.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, looking at you worriedly.

You heart beat violently in your chest, but beyond that, you were fine. You nodded, not wanting his strong arms to let you go. When Bucky had also landed however, Steve let of you and gestured both Bucky and you should follow him inside the train. You made your way over the train quickly, lowering yourself down to the first opening you could find.

‘That was close,’ Bucky panted, once you were inside. ‘Let’s not do that again, ever…’

‘Let’s get moving,’ Steve replied.

You nodded, getting the gun the colonel had given you from your back. You pointed it out in front of you and followed Steve as he made his way around the shelves with piled up weapons. You figured that was the reason they needed Zola so badly. He was transporting their way to victory.

You walked further into the train, thinking it was awfully quiet. Too quiet. Steve looked at both Bucky and you, once you had reached the end of the wagon you were in. A hollow feeling spread through your stomach and you knew things were going to get bad from here on.

Steve walked into the other wagon, while Bucky gestured you should follow him. You did as you were told, walking from one wagon to another, when Bucky suddenly closed the doors between them, closing him off from you and Steve.

‘Wait!’ you cried out, alerting Steve something had happened. ‘Bucky, no!’ You slammed the glass as several agents ran into Bucky’s wagon and they started shooting at him. You didn’t have much time to get the doors open again, as Steve yelled your name.

You turned around quickly, seeing a HYDRA agent standing in front of you, a large, double HYDRA weapon in hand. Steve pushed you out of the way, reflecting one of the shots from the large weapon with his shield. Steve was slammed back against the wall, his face covered in a painful frown. You started shooting at the HYDRA agent, trying to hit him in the legs or arms, so that the large weapon would be too heavy for him to carry. Every shot however, just bounced off his armor and you cursed softly, reloading your gun.

‘Cover me!’ Steve cried out, jumping out of hiding and running towards the agents. He grabbed the pulley above his head and protected himself with his shield, while the HYDRA agent started shooting at him. The pulley send Steve flying through the wagon, while you tried to distract the HYDRA agent with shots that were aimed at his head.

Steve jumped from the pulley, kicking the HYDRA agent back. Once he was on the floor, Steve punched him unconscious with his shield, hoping he would stay down long enough for him and you to help Bucky.

‘The door!’ Steve yelled to you, but you were already on it, pulling it open.

You walked into the bridge between the two wagons and watched while Bucky was shooting at two remaining HYDRA agents. You waited for Steve to join you, before pulling open the second door as well.

‘Bucky,’ you whispered. ‘Here…’ you threw the gun that was attached to your belt at him, seeing him panic as he realized he was out of bullets. He looked at you gratefully, catching it quickly. You gestured you would walk to his right. He nodded, while you made your way over to the crates that were standing on the right side of the wagon. Steve did the same, following you silently.

You were almost certain the two HYDRA agents hadn’t spotted you yet. You explained your plan to both Steve and Bucky with hand signals and they nodded at you in agreement.

Steve was the first one to launch himself out of hiding. He kicked he shelve that was closest to him backwards, forcing the two HYDRA agents to come out of hiding as well. As they did so, Buck and you pushed yourselves from the floor and shot them through the head. Their bodies hit the floor with a loud thud.

‘I had ‘em on the ropes,’ Bucky said, looking down to the now dead HYDRA agents.

‘I know you did,’ Steve replied, watching the fallen down agents carefully to make sure they were really dead.

‘We should…’ you started, but before you could finish your sentence, the same HYDRA agent with the large, double weapon, walked through the door opening leading to the other wagon.

‘Get down!’ Steve yelled, pushing Bucky out of the way and protecting you with his own body. He pulled his shield up when the agent fired, reflecting the blue, glooming light with the round, special metal.

A hole was blown into the side of the train and you and Steve were slammed into the other side. You groaned softly, feeling a shot of pain going through your body. Steve was lying next to you, trying to push himself from the floor before the agent could fire again.

He was too late however, as Bucky had already done the same. He picked up Steve’s shield and started to fire at the HYDRA agent that was coming closer and closer to you.

‘No, Bucky, don’t!’ you screamed, remembering what had happened to him at this very moment.

At the same time the agent fired again. The shot reflected on Steve’s shield, sending Bucky flying through the train, smashing against the side that was blown off by the previous shot. You quickly pushed yourself from the floor, seeing Bucky clinging onto one of the pieces of the side of the train that hadn’t come off completely.

You hesitated for a moment, not sure what to do. Should you climb onto it and try to safe Bucky. What if you succeeded? Everything would be different. No, you couldn’t do that. Could you? No…

You threw your gun on the floor, running towards the hole in the side of the train, leaning out to see how far away he was. You swallowed hard. There was no way you could reach him without climbing out yourself. But you couldn’t let him die like that. You couldn’t let Steve go through that pain again. You had to save Bucky. He trusted you. What kind of person would you be if you didn’t even try?

‘Hang on!’ you cried out to him, while Steve threw his shield at the HYDRA agents before he could fire again.

‘No, [Name],’ Bucky replied. ‘It’s too dangerous. It won’t hold.’

‘Shut up and give me your hand!’ you said angrily, climbing onto the little railing that was attached to the side of the train.

‘Be careful,’ you heard Steve say.

You climbed further onto the railing, feeling it bend under your weight. ‘Just a little further,’ you mumbled to yourself, trying to keep yourself from looking down. You reached out to Bucky with one hand, telling him he should do the same. He looked at you doubtfully, but listened to you anyway and let go of the railing with one of his hands.

You could almost reach him. You felt his fingertips against yours and in that moment you realized how much you had liked his company over the last few days. He had been the only one that was willing to talk to you besides Steve and you had enjoyed listening to his stories. You couldn’t let him die. You just couldn’t.

In that moment however, the railing Bucky was holding broke off and Bucky fell into the deep emptiness of the mountain pass below.

‘No!’ you screamed, feeling your grip on the railing slip.

Steve was just in time to grab your hand, before you would have followed Bucky into the darkness. He pulled you in quickly, dropping himself and you to the floor. You could see he was overwhelmed with grieve. A sad, hollow feeling spread through your body and you swallowed hard.

‘Steve, I…’

‘You did all you could,’ he responded, wiping the tears from his face that had fallen in silence. ‘I can’t ask more of you.’

‘Maybe if you would have gone on the railing, he would have…’

Steve looked up at you, his eyes red from the tears. He shook his head and pushed himself from the floor, walking towards you. ‘No. The railing would have broken under my weight. You were his only hope.’

You nodded. ‘Steve?’

‘Yes?’ he replied distantly.

‘I’m sorry…’ you closed the gap that separated you and closed your arms around him.

He seemed surprised, his muscles tensing as you laid your head against his chest. Tears streamed down your face even though you knew this would happen. After several seconds however, he pulled you closer against him and let his cheek rest on your head. It felt nice standing there together, morning the only friend Steve had ever had. You wanted to comfort him and tell him Bucky wasn’t lost forever, but you wisely remained silent, enjoying the warmth that spread through your body as he closed his strong arms around you.

‘We need to get Zola,’ you whispered after a couple of minutes of sharing Steve’s grief.

He nodded, reluctant to let go of you however. ‘You stay here. I’ll go find him.’

You frowned. ‘No, I’m coming with you. Who knows how many more agents are hiding in those wagons. You need me.’

You could tell from his face that he knew you were right. He sighed, picking up his shield and gestured you should follow him. Within a few minutes you had found the doctor, hiding in the front of the train with the operator. He surrendered immediately and you had to restrain yourself from putting a bullet in his head. Without doctor Zola there would be no HYDRA to destroy the Avengers… The thought of all the things you might change for the worse with that single action, however, stopped you from doing so. From now on you wouldn’t mingle in things that were bound to happen anymore. It was too dangerous.

When you arrived back at the headquarters of the Howling Commandos Steve excused himself. He mumbled something about wanting to be alone and you happily gave him his time alone. You knew he needed to be alone for a few hours to get over his grieve for Bucky. Everyone still needed him and the real acceptance would have to come later.

You also took some time to yourself, although more people were now willing to talk to you as they had heard about what had happened and what you had done. After several hours of trying to get some sleep and talking to everyone that had questions for you, you started to wonder where Steve had gone. You walked towards the sleeping bunker he had shared with Bucky, finding it empty. You walked back into the main hall and searched for someone that could tell you where Steve was.

After a few minutes of looking around you, you finally found two people who probably knew where he had gone. Howard and Peggy were sitting behind a table, talking to each other about what had happened earlier that day.

‘Agent [Last Name],’ Peggy said, looking at you with the same look in her eyes as before. Only now it seemed to be less of hatred and more of jealousy. ‘I’m glad to see you are alright. Is there anything we can do for you?’

Howard nodded at you, a small smile curling his lips.

‘I was looking for Steve. Have you seen him?’

‘I was just about to go look for him myself, but if you are offering to do so, you should probably start your search in one of the burned out buildings just outside the city. He and Bucky used to go there together.’

‘Thank you,’ you smiled gratefully. ‘I’ll let you know when I’ve found him.’

You quickly walked away from them and made your way outside of the headquarters. It would probably be a fifteen minute walk to the burned out buildings Peggy was talking about, so you hoped Steve would be still there by that time. You quickened your pace and within ten minutes you encountered the first buildings that had been completely destroyed by bombs.

It had gotten dark very quickly and you had to look carefully into the buildings to see if anyone was there. After another five minutes you had found him however, sitting behind a table in a bar, holding a drink in his hands.

You walked into the building, making sure you didn’t make too much noise. You didn’t want to scare him. He noticed you before you had reached him however and he wiped away he tears he thought you hadn’t seen.

‘Doctor Erskine said the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, but also my cells, creating a protective system of regeneration. Which means…’

‘You can’t get drunk,’ you finished his sentence. You took a seat next to him, taking the glass from his hand and taking a large sip from whatever was inside. You pulled a weird face, as the bitter fluid went down your throat.

Steve frowned, looking at you while you poured the glass full again and handed it back to him. ‘Yes, how’d you know?’

‘I’m smarter than I look…’

‘You read doctor Erskine’s files, didn’t you?’

You nodded. ‘I also know that what happened to Bucky wasn’t your fault.’

‘You were there. You know that that’s not true.’

‘Maybe, but if you want to blame someone, then blame me. I wasn’t fast enough.’

Steve shook his head. ‘You almost died trying to save him. I shouldn’t have let him pick up my shield.’

‘He made a choice Steve. He made a choice to protect us. To protect you. You have to respect that. And if you don’t want to blame me, then blame Zola. Blame Schmidt…’

Steve nodded, although you didn’t think he would stop blaming himself. ‘I’m going after him,’ he said, finally looking up at you. You could see the determination in his eyes. ‘And I’m not going to stop until whole of HYDRA is dead or captured.’

Now it was your time to nod. ‘I know and you won’t be alone,’ you replied, laying your hand over his and smiling at him encouragingly.

‘Thank you,’ Steve said, looking at you intensely. He took your hand in his and squeezed it slightly.

‘For what?’ you frowned, thinking you hadn’t done anything to deserve his thanks. You hadn’t even been able to save his best friend.

‘For not betraying my trust. Now my men will finally be able to see what I see when I look at you.’

You swallowed hard, biting your lips. ‘And what’s that?’

‘A friend.’



TO BE CONTINUED...