If tomorrow never comes (Steve x Reader) Part 6

2014, New York – A few months after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and inside the remains of Stark Tower

Scattered thoughts echoed through Steve’s head as he lay on an old, hard bed. It had been a long time since he had slept in such conditions. There barely came any light from underneath the metal door and every time he turned he could hear the joints of the frame crack and squeak. If he closed his eyes; hearing the silent echoes on the hallway and the sighs of desperation that filled his ears, it was almost as if he was back in the 1940’s. He swallowed hard, feeling an old sense of hopelessness; threatening to consume him.

    Tony had appointed Steve one of the spare rooms in sector two, but as much as he wanted to sleep, his mind just wouldn’t rest. He stared at the cracked, blackened ceiling above his head; seeing the marks of destruction that had nearly killed everyone inside the tower. If it hadn’t been for the large “secret” bunker underneath Steve was sure none of his friends would still be alive.

    In his mind he kept going over and over what Bruce and Tony had told him; trying to make sense of everything. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had been sent here in the first place, he now only had less than three days to save this world from HYDRA and find the device – the “orb” – that had brought him here. Not to mention he’d have to leave you here, in this apocalyptic world, without knowing if ridding the world from the Helicarriers would do anything to save this universe in the long run.

    A loud sigh escaped Steve’s lips. He folded his hands underneath his head and closed his eyes. So many things were different in this universe, and yet, so many things were the same. All his friends were still here and seemed as determined – if not more so – to stop HYDRA as they had been in his own universe. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same for you. Here he was quite sure you didn’t work for HYDRA (or ever had for that matter), but back home… he still didn’t know.

    But he needed to find out.

    One way or another.

    The hours ticked by without Steve getting any sleep. His mind kept wandering to questions he had no hopes of answering – maybe ever – and he could only hope the faith everyone had in him wasn’t misplaced.

    Yes, he had defeated HYDRA once before.

    And yes, he had succeeded in taking down the Helicarriers.

    But he hadn’t done it alone and even then he had nearly died (although he didn’t like to think about that haunting fact). There was no way of knowing if he could outplay HYDRA again. Twice he had been lucky – once during the war and once during the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. – and twice HYDRA had shown to be more powerful than anyone could have imagined. What if, this time, he ran out of luck?

    He didn’t like to think about it, but it was the harsh reality. What if he couldn’t stop them this time? What if he couldn’t save this universe? Was he to go back to his own home just like that? And pretend for the rest of this life that nothing had happened?

    He didn’t know if he could do that; if he wanted to do that.

    Steve lay in the darkness for several more minutes – turned into his own thought and unable to determine the time of day – when suddenly there was a knock on the door and he figured it must finally be morning. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and called whomever was at the door inside.

    ‘Morning,’ you whispered, slowly pushing the door to his room open. ‘How did you sleep?’

    ‘Fine, thank you.’

    You laughed softly, closing the door behind you as you entered the room. ‘You were never a very good liar, Steve.’

    ‘I always thought that was a good thing.’

    ‘It is,’ you smiled sadly, ‘but I’ve come to realize that in times like this honesty is a luxury. And trust even more so.’

    ‘What do you mean? Surely you trust the Avengers?’

    You sighed, evading your eyes from him. ‘Do I trust them to not betray me? To save my life when theirs doesn’t depend on it? Yes, of course… But war makes people selfish, Steve – if they weren’t already – which means trust is only meant as a comfort. It’s not real. When we go out there we all risk our lives. We fight as a team – have each other’s back – but we don’t think as a team. When it comes down to survival – when it’s every man for themselves – I don’t trust a single one of them… And neither should you.’

    Steve swallowed hard, looking at the serious and hardened expression in  your eyes. You meant every word you said. It wasn’t until then he realized how hopeless you felt and how badly you wished all of this was over. If you couldn’t even truly trust your own friends? Who was there left to trust?

    What was there left to live for?

    ‘You can trust me, [Name]…’ Steve whispered, taking a step closer to you and folding his hands around yours.

    You looked up at him and nodded slowly as tears welled in your eyes. Steve could see how much you wanted to believe his words and trust him, but he knew you probably never would. You were right. In times of war it was very hard to trust anyone.

    He had been there himself.

    ‘We’re going to fix this. I promise.’

    You snorted, pulling your hands from his soft grasp. ‘Don’t make any promises you can’t keep, Steve. Bruce told me how little time we have.’ You sighed again, shaking your head. ‘Just say that you’ll try. That’s all they can ask of you anyway.’

    ‘I can do more than just try, [Name]…’

    You remained silent for a few seconds, letting your eyes shift over his face. ‘Come,’ you spoke softly, turning away from him towards the door. ‘We’ve talked enough. It’s time for action.’

‘We know the Hellicarriers are just outside the city,’ Fury said, laying his finger on the virtual map of New York that floated in the middle of the lab. Everyone was gathered around it and looked at each other seriously. ‘They move them over night and they never keep them in one place for long, but based on previous patterns Hill and Stark were able to determine the most likely location just after sun rise tomorrow.’

    ‘What’s the plan?’ Sam asked, as Fury enlarged the area Maria and Tony thought the Helicarriers were going to be within twenty-four hours. ‘We haven’t secured that part of New York yet.’

    ‘Not to mention HYDRA has eyes and ears everywhere,’ you added.

    Natasha nodded. ‘That’s a large open space, Nick. We’ll have no cover whatsoever and our division in Russia won’t be here in time to give us air support.’

    ‘We’ve hardly recovered from last time,’ Bruce agreed, crossing his arms and taking in a deep breath. ‘We have no cover, no air support, and no weapons…’

    ‘But we have no choice,’ Tony objected. ‘They keep moving the Hellicarriers because they know we could be anywhere. This is the closest they have ever been. We won’t get a chance like this again any time soon.’

    ‘Not while the Captain is still here,’ Maria said, walking closer to the map and highlighting two streets that had once been the way into the city. ‘We need to use that advantage. The ruins in these two streets are just tall enough for us to hide in while HYDRA moves in the Helicarriers. We’ve sent scouts towards the area to make sure there are no traps. It won’t be ideal and we won’t have any back up or enough weapons, but we have the element of surprise. They won’t expect another attack so soon.’

    ‘We can do this,’ Nick said determinately. ‘It won’t be easy and I can’t promise we’ll all make it back, but as long as we’re a team, HYDRA will have a damn hard time stopping us.’

    Everyone nodded and even though you exchanged a quick look with Steve, he was sure you believed Fury’s words.

    ‘We have about twenty hours to prepare,’ Tony continued. ‘Bruce and I will make sure all the gear and weapons are repaired and we’ll sent some of the other agents out into the tower’s ruins to look for the orb that brought Steve here. In the meantime… Cap,’ Tony grinned, turning to Steve, ‘any ideas on how to get on board of the Helicarriers? Since you’ve done this once before and all.’

    Steve smiled, nodding at Tony as he looked around the room; seeing the determinate expression on everyone’s faces. ‘I might have a few…’


TO BE CONTINUED...