Edge of tomorrow (Steve x Reader) Part 3

Day 1

Somewhere in the back of your mind you could hear the loud, ringing sound of your alarm.

    Beep.

    Beep.

    Beep.

    You groaned, turning in your sheets, folding your arms underneath your head. The vivid dream you had during the night slowly faded from your memory, leaving you with a nagging pain that pounded against the inside of your skull. You grimaced as you lifted your head to look at the time. Six o’clock exactly. You shifted in the bed one final time before reluctantly pushing yourself from the comfort of your sleep.

    Rubbing the fatigue from your eyes you got out of bed and made your way toward the bathroom to freshen up before your morning run. The cool water felt like a cold relief against your skin. You took in a deep breath, putting your hair into a ponytail before dressing into your workout gear.

    Minutes after being rudely awoken by your alarm clock, you were stretching your stiff muscles. You rotated your body with your elbows out, touched your toes with stretched legs and crossed your arms left and right to shake the sleep from your body. This time of day the air was still cool and crisp, your breath rising toward the sky in small clouds. But you didn’t mind. You liked the feel of the morning air on your skin and the freshness of it after it had rained all night like it had last night and the night before.

    After completing your warm-up routine you plugged your headphones into your ears and started the playlist you had made for your daily runs. The familiar sounds echoed in your ears, vibrating through your whole body. You heard the gravel creak underneath your feet as you started moving.

    Apart from the music drumming inside your head, it was completely silent. Not even the birds living in the trees around the Avengers headquarters sung their morning tunes. You didn’t really mind. You liked the quiet. Mostly because you knew it would be over soon. In a few hours Secretary Ross would come with a new mission and you'd be off again to fight Hydra. Like any other day since Steve and the others had returned from their time hiding as criminals.

    Steve…

    You couldn’t help a sigh from leaving your lips. He’d be out on the track in just a few minutes, which meant you had to do your best again to ignore him. When he had just gotten back from wherever he had been hiding, that had been easy. He had given you the space you needed and everyone else, including your father, had ignored him as much as possible as well.

    Lately, though, you found it harder to do so. Missions were growing more frequent, forcing you to work together. Besides that, you could tell he was making more attempts to connect again. With everyone else, he had succeeded, but you were still too angry to let him back in.

    As if on cue, you could hear his soft breathing behind you. He ran up to you with ease and took his position beside you for a moment. You could feel him looking at you, his presence so close you could almost feel his hand touch yours as you ran side by side.

     "Morning," he said, nodding at you––waiting for your response. But just like you had done the day before, you kept your eyes on the track before you, leaving the captain in frustration. He sighed and quickened his pace, running ahead of you within seconds.

    When he was gone, you let out a hot breath you didn’t know you had been holding. You wiped the sweat from your brow, still feeling the headache throb against your temples. The pain was gradually going down, but with the continuing fast movements of your run, you could feel the strain on your body. You had barely made it another lap around the building when you started to feel lightheaded, your heart beating fast in your chest and your breaths coming quicker and quicker.

    You slowly came to a full stop, resting your hands on your knees, taking in gulps of air fast. You never were this easily winded. Years of training had prepared you for things much worse than a little headache. Still, you could see black spots circling your vision—still you felt yourself wobble on your feet.

    Before you could fall over, strong hands closed around you, pulling you into a soft embrace.

    “Are you alright?” Steve asked, holding you in his arms. His eyes shifted over your face, the worry flickering through his blue orbs.

    “Yeah, I just need a moment…” You swallowed hard, blinking rapidly trying to clear your blurry vision. “I’m fine,”  you said eventually, taking in a deep breath before pushing yourself from his arms. His touch was warm and familiar, making you shiver despite the drops of sweat that trickled down your brow.

    “Are you sure?”

    You nodded, but after just a few steps your knees buckled. Steve grabbed your arm this time, letting you lean against him. You held onto him for a moment, feeling the soft breeze whip the loose strings of hair from your face.

    “I’m fine,”  you repeated, pulling your arm from his grasp when you had steadied yourself and the dizzy feeling had passed. You walked away from him, still feeling his gaze on you as you followed the gravel road back to the building.

    “[Name], wait!” he called after you, reaching your side with a few quick strides. “I wanted to talk to you. Really talk.”

    You turned to him, frowning at his words. “Didn’t we already have this conversation? I need time, Steve.”

    “Right, of course.” He nodded almost unnoticeable. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know I’ve hurt you and if I could take that back, I would, but I–”

    “But you won’t apologize for what happened…” You interrupted him, suppressing a sigh. “Are we really getting into this again?”

    Steve’s brow knitted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

    Now you did sigh. “I get it, Steve. Bucky needed you and you thought you were doing the right thing. You thought I would understand. You never meant to hurt me. Whatever.”

    “Yes, but how did you–”

    “I get it. I truly do,” you admitted. You swallowed hard, letting your eyes shift over his face. “I just–I don’t know. I need time, space.” With that said you walked through the door leading to the living quarters of the facility, leaving him alone to think about what you had said.

    “How much time? It’s been a year, [Name], and I–I thought you might want to join me when I–”

    You turned back around, feeling your frustration with him rising again. You hadn’t expected him to be so close, however, and when you turned on your heels, you bumped into him. Your hands rested on his chest, feeling his rising heartbeat drum against your fingers. His face was only inches away from yours and you felt your own heart skip a beat, your breath catching in your throat.

    “J–just a little while longer…” you finally managed to say, pulling your hands away from him and evading your eyes. “I–uhm–I’ll see you later.” 

    You could still feel the warmth of his hands on your waist as you walked away from him. With your head spinning, you walked towards your room. Taking a long, cool shower you tried to clear your mind, but no matter how cold you set the water, you couldn’t get the heat from your cheeks.

    Fifteen minutes later you walked into the living room, still not completely sure of what had just happened. According to Friday, Steve had already left to go to New York. You found it odd that he would go there again, but you quickly shoved any thoughts about him to the back of your mind. He could do whatever he wanted. When you had nearly finished your breakfast your father entered the kitchen, looking just as serious as he had the day before.

    “We need to talk,” he said, not even taking the time to wish you a good morning.

    “Again? This day is almost starting to feel like a déjà vu…”

    “This isn’t funny, [Name]. Secretary Ross has a new mission and he wants you and Steve to do it.”

    “What?” You frowned, thinking that was the exact same thing Tony had said yesterday.

    “You heard me. Ross is pairing you up with Steve and we can’t have you screw this mission up because you’re mad at him.”

    “Is this supposed to be a joke? Are you really pulling that card again? I’m not going to screw up, Tony. Stop assuming that I will. Steve and I can work out our problems perfectly fine on our own without you interfering all the time.”

    “I know you, [Name], and I’ve seen what is going on between you two. I’m not assuming anything, I’m just trying to help.”

    His words echoed in your head, repeating themselves as if you had heard them before. You could feel your head starting to spin again, a familiar pain nesting inside your head.

    “Have you even talked to him about what happened? Because you need to, [Name].”

    “What the hell is going on here?” you wondered out loud, pushing yourself from your seat just as the others entered the living room. Sam and Rhodes walked side by side again, talking about their time in the army. Wanda and Vision smiled at each other, softly laughing about one of their inside jokes. You quickly ran away from the kitchen, bumping into Natasha as you made your way out of the large room.

    “Hey, where are you running off to?” she asked, rubbing her shoulder.

    Your eyes scanning her face for a moment, remembering the exact same look in her eyes from yesterday. This isn’t happening… You told yourself, pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingers.

    “Are you okay? Is it Steve again?” You heard Natasha’s voice somewhere in the distance, but you didn’t register the hand she laid on your arm or the others gathering around you. You were too lost in thought, letting your mind race through your memories of the day before.

    “[Name]?” Tony slowly pulled your hand from your face, looking into your bloodshot eyes with worry. “What’s going on? Did Steve say something?”

    You swallowed hard. “No, this isn’t about Steve. I–I need to go. Tell him that I’ll meet him in the jet for our mission tonight.” You shook your head, hearing the echo of the familiar words in your head. Something strange was going on today and there was only one person that could confirm the suspicions that were going through your mind.

    Marcie.

An hour later you were sitting in a small yogurt shop in Brooklyn. Again. Marcie sat on the other side of the table, watching you as you stirred the flavored yogurt inside the cup before you.

    “I don’t understand...” she mumbled, looking at you with a frown covering her brow. “You think you’re having a déjà vu?”

    You nodded, shortly explaining to her what had happened in the morning. Your conversation with Steve, your short discussion with Tony and the words Natasha had spoken to you when you had bumped into her. They all were almost exactly the same as yesterday. Which of course didn’t make any sense to you.

    “Well, I don’t really know anything about déjà vu’s,” Marcie started, taking a bite of her yogurt, “but one thing is for sure: you can’t keep ignoring Steve.”

    You grunted, a loud sigh escaping your lips. You let your head rest on the table and closed your eyes for a moment. “That’s all you got from that story?” you asked after lifting your head up to her again.

    “Well, I mean, I’ve known you since kindergarten, [Name]. I know everything about you. All your habits, all your quirks, all your secrets. We both know what this is really about. Why you’re really still mad at him.”

    “And I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    “Really? Come on, [Name]. He’s handsome, he’s smart, he’s kind. Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

    “I’m not in love with him, Marcie. I told you that be–” You paused, knowing you were caught up in the annoying déjà vu again. You hadn’t had this conversation with your best friend before. And yet, you knew almost everything she was going to tell you.

    “If you say so…”

    “I’m not.”

    “Right, so if I asked him out on a date, you wouldn’t mind?”

    You hid your head inside the palm of your hands, suppressing the urge to scream at her. But it wasn’t Marcie you were frustrated with, it was yourself. It must have something to do with the headache you had earlier, but that still didn’t make it any better.

    “Hey, Steve, come sit with us!” it suddenly sounded beside you. You quickly looked up from your hands, turning your head to see Steve standing before the counter, a yogurt cup in his hand.

    “You’ve got to be kidding me…” you muttered to yourself. The captain’s eyes found yours and for a moment you could see the same doubt reflected in his blue orbs. In turn, your stomach contracted again.

    “Come on,” Marcie smiled sweetly. “We don’t bite.”

    You scowled at her, seeing Steve make his way over to you. This was getting more ridiculous by the minute. He even hesitated again before taking a seat beside you. You knew Marcie was going to flirt with him next. Instead of letting that happen though, you quickly pushed yourself from your seat.

    "We should get going, Marcie. We don't want to be late for that thing you talked about."

    "What thing?"

    You took in a deep breath before speaking again, trying your hardest not to look at the disappointed look on Steve's face. "You know, that thing..."

    "Right, of course." A forced smile curled her lips as she slowly stood up. "It was nice seeing you again, Steve. Too bad it was this short." She looked at you for a short moment, biting off the last word. "Anyway, I hope we'll have a chance to continue this soon."

    "I'd like that." The captain smiled back and you cursed under your breath, taking Marcie's arm and leading her out of the yogurt shop.

    When you were finally outside, your best friend turned to you, both hands on her hips and an annoyed look on her face. "What was that about? You said you didn't like him, right? Not all of us are as stupid as you, [Name]. Steve is a great guy and if you don't see that, I surely do."

    "Can we not do this right now? I have a major headache and I've been fighting with everyone for two days. I don't really want to argue with you too."

    "Fine," Marcie said after a long pause. "But you can't keep doing this. He's your friend. No matter what he did, he doesn't deserve this."

    You let out a hot breath, staring at the young captain through the windows of the yogurt shop. He looked miserable as he stirred in the cup in his hand, just like you had. "I know," you eventually said. "I know..."

Several hours later you were running through the Hydra base together with Steve. He ran out ahead of you, blocking the gunfire that came your way with his shield––the same shield Tony had reluctantly given back to him when he returned to the Avengers.

    You followed him, trying to ignore the feeling of familiarity as you passed the different hallways and shot down the numerous Hydra agents. The weight of the small copying device in the pocket of your suit burned against your leg. You could vaguely remember what would happen next, but the memory slowly started to feel more like a dream and you couldn’t see the ending clearly.

    When you reached the main part of the building, agents poured into the room left and right. On the other side of it, you could see the hallway leading to the control room; your objective. Steve was still ahead of you, protecting you while you only had to shoot past his sides, taking out the agents that he couldn’t reach in time.

    At this pace, you would never reach the control room before Hydra deleted all the files. You weighed the options in your head. You knew Steve was going to be angry if you deviated from the plan you had made, but you didn’t have much time to spare either. In a split second you made your decision, knowing somewhere in the back of your mind that you would come to regret it.

    Still, you ran away from Steve’s protection and made your way toward the long hallway on your right. You could see the white door at the end of it, leading to the control room that hid the information you needed to bring down Hydra. You did everything exactly like you did in your dream. Ducking underneath the gunfire, knocking down the agents that attacked you and eventually reaching your objective with both Tony and Steve telling you to stand down, to wait for back up––to not act stupidly.

    You ignored them both and when you were shot in the chest again several minutes later, you slowly started to realize you had been there before. You had made these choices before and you had gotten yourself killed before. The truth didn’t dawn on you, however, until you saw Steve running around the corner of the hallway again, looking at you with his clear blue eyes filled with sorrow and regret. Eyes that told you, you had failed again. You had gotten a second chance and you had failed.

    Just before you were pulled back into the twilight, you promised yourself that if you would get another chance, you’d do things differently. You’d make different choices. You’d be better.

    And with those last thoughts, everything went dark, leaving you stuck on the edge of a new beginning.


TO BE CONTINUED...