Somebody I used to know (Steve x Reader) 1/3

Authors note: Hail Hydra!

Several years ago, after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. – Inside one of the Hydra bases

“You let me down, agent [Last Name], and you know how I hate to be disappointed,” it sounded in your head, blurry images moving before your eyes as you fought to stay conscious.

    You pulled the heavy metal shackles that tied you to the wall, but the more you tried to break free, the more the cuffs closed around your wrists, cutting into your skin. A groan escaped your throat and a smile curled around your boss’ lips.

    “I don’t want to do this, [Name], but you leave me no choice,” your boss said, nodding at the agents beside him to continue your torture. “I can’t have my agents betray the organization,” he continued, watching you as the men and women you had once called your friends tortured you until there was nothing left but an empty shell of the strong woman you had once been. “Once Hydra, always Hydra…”

    You felt yourself slipping away, fists penetrating the wall you had so carefully built around you. It wouldn’t take long before they would have broken down everything you had fought for and had tried so desperately to protect. Even your own will.

    When you were on the verge of breaking and surrendering to Hydra, gunshots echoed in the distance, sounding off the walls in the hallway outside the room. Chaos erupted around you and a shimmer of hope surged through your body. With the last strength you had you budded your head against the Hydra agent standing closest to you, making him stagger backwards. You jumped up, kicking him against the chest and making him fall to the ground.

    You watched as a group of highly trained soldiers stormed into the room, taking down the other agents. Your boss managed to escape, but after everything that had happened in the past few days you couldn’t be worried about that. You were already happy all of this would finally be over. The continuing torture had broken you physically as well as mentally and now you’d finally have some rest.

    Soon the shackles that tied you down were pulled from the wall and you felt yourself fall to your knees, unable to stand on your feet.

    “It’s okay,” a kind voice echoed in your head, strong arms closing around you and lifting you from the ground. Clear blue eyes stared back at you as you rested your head on a soft shoulder, feeling yourself slip into a blissful, painless sleep, feeling at peace in the strangers arms. “You’re safe now...”

Present day, several months after the events of civil war – Inside the secret hideout  

You stared at yourself in the mirror, putting on the lipstick you had bought only several hours earlier. Every time you saw your own reflection – your eyes tracing the scars that marked your face – you thought back on that one day, more than two years ago, when Hydra had tortured you for your disobedience and disloyalty during the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.. You had made a choice that had changed your whole life and even though choosing the Captain’s side had seemed like the biggest mistake back then, when he had come to your rescue – carrying you out of the Hydra base himself – you had promised yourself you’d always fight by his side against Hydra.

    That you had eventually fallen in love with him had nothing to do with your shared hatred for the originally Nazi organization. After spending days and nights together within the Avengers and fighting by his side when the UN was after him and Bucky, you had gotten very close. And yesterday, to your surprise, he had finally asked you out on a date. It would have to be low profile, since the UN was still looking for both of you, but the thought of spending a quiet night alone with the super soldier had your heart beating faster.

    You had dressed yourself up especially for this date and when you were walking to his room, you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. You cared a lot about Steve. After two years you hadn’t thought he felt the same way, but this night would be proof that he saw you as more than just a friend too. With sweaty hands you knocked on his door, feeling even more anxious as the date was getting closer. You didn’t want to mess things up.

    When there was no responds you slowly pushed the door open, looking left and right, but not seeing the super soldier inside as you entered the room. You figured he was probably somewhere inside the hideout, maybe even asking Sam for some advice. A smile curled your lips as you thought about it.

    You walked through Steve’s room, looking at the few belongings he had taken with him from New York and the few he had collected while being here. It wasn’t much, just like yours, but they told you a lot about him and you now realized more than ever how similar you were in the way you looked at things.

    A few books were scattered across the small desk in the corner of the room and you lifted a few up, reading the back to see what they were about. You were moving some things around when you noticed a familiar sheet of paper in between everything else. You felt your heart race as you stared at the secret Hydra documents before you, carefully hidden between his other belonging, though still clearly visible for trained eyes such as yours. You pulled them from underneath several books and let your eyes shift over the lines, seeing orders for a special mission, dating from today. You had read documents like this a thousand times before – when you had still been part of Hydra – but you had never thought you’d find anything like this in the Captains room, or ever again at all for that matter.

    “[Name]?” it sounded in the distance as Steve called out to you, knocking on his own door, trying not to scare you as he walked in the room.

    You swallowed hard, turning around, the Hydra documents still in your hands. A thousand words raced through your mind, but none of them made it past your throat. You found yourself unable to speak while Steve walked up to you, a loving smile curling his lips as he asked you if you were ready for dinner. Tears welled up in your eyes, feeling everything you had believed in, fought for and yearned for, fall apart in your hands. Had it all been a lie?

    “What is this?” you asked the super soldier, feeling the papers slip from your hands and flutter to the ground. The iconic skull of Hydra burning red in the dim light of the moon shining through the curtains.

    Steve took in a deep breath, kneeling beside you and getting the documents from the floor, putting them safely away in one of his drawers. “It’s not what you think.”

    “What do you mean? You have secret Hydra orders, Steve. What am I supposed to think?” you asked angrily, remembering the pain and misery Hydra had caused you. You had thought he of all people would have understood that they needed to be destroyed. “Are you with Hydra?”

    “[Name], I–”

    “Are you with Hydra…” you repeated slowly, interrupting him from making excuses.

    “You weren’t supposed to see that. The less you know the better.”

    “What?” you frowned, watching him as he rubbed his eyes and seated himself on his bed. “What is that supposed to mean? If this is some kind of mission you’re involved in…”

    “You don’t understand. I can’t tell you.”

    “Those documents are only given to the best agents, Steve. Don’t tell me I don’t understand, because I do. I understand more than anyone,” you said, feeling the tears sting in your eyes as you thought of the idea that Steve could be with Hydra, even though it didn’t make any sense and your heart told you this was all just a misunderstanding. “You can tell me anything, you know that. We’re fighting Hydra together, remember?”

    “It’s not that simple.”

    You swallowed hard, feeling like you were talking to a completely different person. “Then let me make it simple for you, Steve,” you bit down your teeth hard, clenching your hands into fists. “If you’re with Hydra, in any way… you and me, it’s over.”

    The super soldier sighed, evading his eyes from you. “Maybe you should go.”

    “Maybe I should, ” you nodded. “Come see me when you’re ready to be honest… I think I deserve that.”

    You left the super soldier in his room, feeling the anger and sadness surge through your veins. There was not a single cell in your body that thought Steve would be a secret Hydra agent, but the by way he reacted and tried to evade your questions, you couldn’t help but feel something weird was going on.

    You went back to your own room and waited the entire night, hoping the Captain would come to you and explain what was going on; tell you he had secretly been hacking into Hydra’s files, maybe even with Stark’s help. Though that seemed unlikely to you, everything was easier to accept than the haunting fact that Steve might indeed be with Hydra.

    After several hours of waiting and fidgeting with the ruffles of your shirt you realized he wasn’t coming. Annoyed and slightly worried you made your way towards the kitchen, hoping Sam and Wanda had left you something to eat.

    “Hey,” Sam said surprised, looking up from the newspaper as you entered the room. “Weren’t you supposed to go out?”

    “Yeah,” you sighed, opening the fridge and getting some of the leftovers of the night before. “I know.”

     “I don’t understand. Steve just left…”

    You frowned, turning around to Sam. “What? Where?”

    “I don’t know,” Sam shrugged his shoulders. “I thought you were with him. Did something happen?”

    You swallowed hard, thoughts racing through your mind. Where could Steve be going? “When did he leave?”

    “About a minute ago? What’s going on, [Name]?”

    “Nothing,” you said, pushing yourself from the kitchen counter and walking towards the front door, getting your jacket from the rack. “Just some misunderstanding. Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

     Sam got up from his seat, but before he could say anything to stop you from leaving you had already shut the door behind you and rushed down the stairs, hoping to catch Steve somewhere on the other side of the street.

    When you were outside, you looked left and right, letting your gaze pass through all the alleys and streets. You ran to the other side, seeing the super soldier turn around the corner towards the subway. You pulled the hood of your jacket over your head and tucked your hands into your pockets, following the super soldier as he made his way into the subway station, running down the stairs, not aware you were only a few steps behind.

    You made sure he didn’t see you as he stepped into the train that arrived within a few minutes. You hid most of your face in the shadows of your hood and concealed the rest with your hair. You watched him from the corner of your eyes, holding onto the loop above your head. A troubled expression frowned the super soldier's brow and you wondered what he was thinking about as he stared out the window and looked at the buildings that roared past the train.

    When he got off a few stops further, you stayed in place at first, thought quickly running after him, just before the doors closed. You inconspicuously followed Steve as he made his way up to street level and crossed the intersection in front of you, rushing to the other side before the green light turned red.

    A curse escaped your throat as the cars started moving before you couldn't get to the other side. You impatiently waited, pressing the button next to you repeatedly, following Steve with your eyes as he looked left and right and shot into one of the alleys on the other side of the street.

    A few moments later the traffic light jumped to green again and you ran to the alley the super soldier had disappeared into. You slumped your shoulders, confusion frowning your brow as you turned around in circles, not seeing him anywhere. There were no doors beside you, only a large metal fence on the end of the back street.

    You took in a deep breath, realizing he had jumped over it and was now somewhere on the other side, going Gods knew where. You followed his example, climbing over the fence skilfully, landing on your hands and knees on the ground only a feet away. You quickly made your way to the end of the alley, finding yourself in an abandoned part of the city.

    Every street was completely empty, covered in dust and dirt. All roads led to a small closed off, derelict airport and you looked around in awe, wondering how you could have missed this part of the city when you had scouted through the warren of streets several weeks earlier.

    Voices sounded off the walls around you and you quickly hid in one of the many empty porches, concealing yourself in the shadows as a few men and woman walked past you towards the airport, where a single, cargo plane was waiting for take-off. The Hydra emblem sparkled a bright red on their suits and you could feel your skin crawl as you recognized some of them.

    You leaned against the wall, squinting your eyes and seeing Steve shake hands with the men stationed at the back of the plane. He gathered with the group of other agents that were waiting to enter the plane and laughed at something one of them had said.

    You swallowed hard, feeling your heart race inside your chest. This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t the Steve you knew. Whatever was going on – whatever Steve was doing – you needed to have a closer look.

    When another group of Hydra agents passed you, you followed them from the shadows, making sure no one saw you as you approached the plane. You ran to the other side of one of the buildings, hiding in the dark until none of the agents had their eyes on the entrance of the cargo deck. You rushed towards the side of the plane and quickly climbed inside, keeping your gaze on the group of people before you, making sure you weren’t noticed as you sneaked onto the deck, making your way further inside.

    You had intended to be in and out within a few minutes. You had only wanted to see what was going on. Steve wouldn’t have wanted you to interfere if he really was on an important mission. Though as soon as you had found some of the cargo on the plane – mainly high-tech weapons and schematics – the Hydra agents made their way on board, leaving you no room to escape anymore.

    Within several minutes the plane was moving forward and up into the sky, forcing you to hide between the large boxes and sealed crates that were scattered across the deck. You remained completely silent, letting your gaze pass all the agents, seeing Steve among them, seeming completely at ease. As if he had been here before.

    It wasn’t until you heard a familiar voice call out to him that you realized something really bad was going on. You watched your former boss walk out of the cockpit, greeting the Captain and bidding him a warm welcome, padding him on the back.

    “It is good that you came, Captain. We were worried you might not have received your orders.”

    “Have I ever disappointed you?”

    “No,” your former boss smiled. “You haven’t. It’s good to have you back.”

    Back? you wondered, moving further into the plane to get a better view of what was going on. You crouched behind a large crate and watched as a small smile curled Steve’s lips. The super soldier nodded and followed your former boss towards the cockpit to discuss the mission files he had received and that you had seen earlier.

    “No,” you whispered, shaking your head. This couldn’t be. Steve couldn’t be Hydra. He just couldn’t. “No,” you said again, not realizing you were speaking up.

    Before you could correct your mistake gunshots echoed through the plane, clinging against the metal of the roof. You were forced to roll out of hiding and avoided being shot by ducking left and right and jumping up, knocking one of the Hydra agents down with a hard blow to the head before he even had the time to aim his gun for your head.

    “Ah,” your former boss sighed. “Agent [Last Name], how good it is to see you.”

    “I can’t say the same,” you swallowed hard, clenching your hands into fists and pulling them up before your face as a dozen guns were pointed at you.

    “I always knew we’d see each other again.”

    “[Name]?” Steve frowned, letting his eyes shift over your face. “What are you doing here?”

    Your former boss laughed. “She followed you here, Captain. Which was to be expected, though I must say it is a lot sooner than I expected.”

    “How could you?” you whispered, letting two Hydra agents tie your hand behind your back and search you for any concealed weapons. “I believed in you,” you continued. “All this time… You’ve been Hydra?”

    Steve remained silent, evading his eyes from you, letting someone else do the talking for him.

    “It must hurt,” your former boss said amused. “To know the man you left Hydra for is now among our ranks.”

    “Who are you?” you asked Steve, trying to ignore what was being said to you. “I thought I knew you,” you frowned, rethinking everything he had ever said to you and everything you had fought for together, “but I guess I was wrong.”

    “You shouldn’t have come here,” Steve said stoically, shaking his head and watching the Hydra agents push you to the back of the plane, towards the bridge that had been pulled up for flight.

    “The time has come to prove yourself, Captain,” your former boss said, gesturing the super soldier to walk his way and come closer to you. He folded his hands behind his back as Steve passed him, taking his place only a feet away from you. “Push her out and become a full member of Hydra,” he continued, nodding at the men behind you to open the deck of the plane. You could hear the hydraulics push open the heavy door, the strong wind pulling at your hair, trying to suck you out of the plane and to your death. “Or jump with her and hope you survive.”

    The Captain finally looked up at you again, now keeping his eyes firmly locked with yours, though no real emotions could be read from his clear blue orbs. You swallowed hard, letting your eyes shift over the super soldier’s face, realizing the man you had known – or thought to have known – was gone. Whoever was standing before you had left Captain America far behind. He had dropped his title with his shield and with it all common sense.

    “Steve?” you tried to get through to him, seeing no trace of the man you had come to love, only a blanc expression where once a loving and kind smile had been. “I love you,” you whispered, feeling tears sting in your eyes.

    Steve remained completely silent as he took a step closer to you. For a moment you thought you could see a deep-rooted pain in his eyes, but soon a carefully aimed kick was placed on your chest and you felt yourself fall to the ground, rolling backwards until there was no ground to roll on anymore. As you fell out of the plane you could hear Steve speak the words you had never thought he’d ever say.

    “Hail Hydra.”


TO BE CONTINUED...