The face of love (Steve x Reader) 3/5

Several days later inside the training room in the Hydra base

Left punch, right punch, duck. Left punch, right punch, duck.

    Your father's words echoed through your head. He had made you train for hours and hours in a row and you could dream every routine he had ever made you perform. He wasn’t here anymore to tell you what to do and how to punch, but you could still hear him tell you to hit harder; to be faster. You could still see him standing next to you, nodding at you when you did a good job.

    Now, you were completely alone…

    With your headphones on you were kicking the punching bag in front of you. Sweat was streaming down your back and you quickly wiped your brow. It was still early in the morning and most of the other Hydra agents were still vast asleep.

    You hadn’t had a third date with the Captain yet, though he had texted you several times, even asking you if you wanted to go to the Great New York State Fair that was in the city for the next couple of weeks. Of course you had said yes and tomorrow you'd see him again; the first time you had ever gone to a fair. Which – though you didn’t want to admit it – was actually quite exiting.

    With great force you hit the punching bag in front of you, feeling your fingers sink into the hard leather of the bag. Your muscles ached, but your father had always taught you to bite through that pain, to ignore the signals your body was giving you; to not give up. You sighed, punching left and right, before ducking as you pretended the bag actually punched back. It was a routine you had made your own. The only sounds filling your ears were that of your music and the soft thuds of your fists hitting the surface of the punching bag.

    You were so focused on your training, that you didn’t notice when the alarms of the base went off in the whole building, alerting all the agents that they were being attacked.

    “[Name]!” someone called out for you, almost pulling the door to the training room from its hinges. “The Avengers… They’re here,” one of your colleagues panted.

    You frowned, taking the music from your ears. “The Avengers? But how? How did they find us?”

    “I don’t know, but we need to get out of here. They’re already initiating Code Red.”

    “Go,” you nodded, wiping the sweat soaked hair from your face. You pulled the tape from your hands and ran towards the door, knowing there would be little time to evacuate everyone before your boss would start the destruction process. “Make sure everyone is out of here when the sirens go off.”

    “What about you? What are you going to do?”

    “Buy you some time…”

 

You ran through the hallways of the Hydra base you had called your home for as long as you could remember. You grew up here. You had trained here. Everything you were – and would be – was hidden inside these walls. And now, it would all be destroyed…

    Agents were running around like crazy, yelling orders at each other while trying to wipe all the computers and burn all the files. You had never seen anything like it, and if you were being honest, it kind of scared you.

    You had retrieved your gear from your room and were pulling on your shoes in the control room – where the madness was even worse – when you saw the Captain running towards the main hall on the security screens.

    “Close those doors,” you told the agents behind the computers, pointing at the access doors to the main part of the building. Until now only Steve seemed to have made his way inside, though the others probably weren’t far behind. You had to act fast. “And distort their communication signal.”

    “That won’t hold them for long. Stark will surely hack into our operating systems.”

    “No, but it might hold them long enough. How many minutes until this place blows?”

    “Ten, but I don’t–”

    “Just do it. I’ll keep the Captain busy.”

    They nodded, closing the doors like you had said, trapping the Captain on one side of the building, while his friends were still in another. You padded them on their shoulders and quickly made your way back outside, checking the ammo in your gun as you made your way towards Steve; following the cries that sounded off the walls.

    When you turned the corner, you could see him fighting off several of you colleagues. They were knocked to the ground quickly, leaving the Captain’s way towards the control room free.

    “Hello again,” you yelled at him, signalling all the other Hydra agents to get the hell out of here. “You couldn’t wait to see me, could you?” you continued. “That’s so sweet.”

    “I’m not here for you, [Last Name],” he replied, clenching his hand around the handle of his shield. “I’m here for the sceptre.”

    “I thought we’d been over this before. I don’t know where the sceptre is. Besides, even if I did, what makes you think I’d tell you?”

    You ran towards him, folding your hand into a fist, aiming your blow for his head. Just before you reached him you jumped up, getting him by surprise as you kicked him back. The metal on your boots sent a clinging echoed through the hallway as it was slammed against the vibranium shield. You kept attacking until you had him on his knees and pinned to the wall. You tried to knock him down completely, but he recovered quickly, pushing you back with a few carefully placed punches. You rolled back, pulling your fists up to your face and signalling him to come at you again.

    “Don’t be shy, Captain,” you panted. “I like it rough…”

    You heard him sigh, though he stored his shield on his back and took the same fighting stance as you did.

    “Bring it on.”

    You laughed softly, initiating the fight, slamming your hand into his stomach. He evaded the next couple of blows and hit you against the jaw. You could taste the blood that lingered in your mouth, letting a bloodly smile curle your lips. The fight continued like that for several minutes, where no one was getting the upper hand. You could feel the pain burn in the places he had hit you and you panted heavily, but you didn’t think of quitting. You couldn’t give up. Not now.

    “Shit,” you mumbled under your breath when a soft siren echoed through the halls; the signal you had to get out of here as soon as possible. You ducked when a fist came for your head, evading the Captain’s blows as best as you could. You lowered yourself to the ground and kicked his legs from underneath him in one swift motion. Quickly pushing yourself from the cold floor, you made a run for the stairs, knowing that within a few minutes the whole building would be reduced to ashes.

    “This was nice,” you yelled at the Captain, “but I have somewhere else I need to be. Let’s continue on a later date.”

    “Not this time, [Last Name],” you heard in the distance, though you didn’t look back, thinking Steve was smart enough to realize you were running away for a reason. Though, before you had reached the staircase something hard was smashed against the back of your head and you could feel yourself heading for the ground as black spots circled up and down in your vision. You stumbled further, falling to your knees, but hastily picking yourself back up when the sound of the sirens intensified.

    You only had a minute or two left before it the whole building would explode. 

    The Captain was by your side in mere seconds, knocking you back to the ground and pointing a gun at your head, telling you to stay down. “This needs to end,” he panted. “I’m bringing you back to the Tower so we can–”

    Suddenly, a deafening bang sounded off the walls. The ground shook, while a nerve wrecking cry came from the structure of the building around you. Another explosion echoed through the halls and cracks formed on the ceiling. Before you knew what had happened, the large concrete plate above your head caved in, heading right for you and Steve.

    “Look out!” you yelled, picking yourself from the ground and pushing the Captain out of the way as large, heavy pieces of concrete fell from the ceiling. They landed only inches from where you had been standing and you could feel your heart throb in your ears as dust circled around you, making it hard for you to breath.

    More debris rained down on you and you could feel the ground move underneath your feet as another explosion went off, taking down another part of the ceiling. A cracking sound filled your ears, while a low, hissing sigh echoed through the hall. Several seconds later the floor caved, sending you in a free fall to the large basement several feet underneath the building. You fell through the cracks, landing between the rubble somewhere in between the collapsed concrete walls.

    You groaned loudly, letting the heavy, dusty air fill your lungs. The Captain’s heavy breathing sounded next to you, so you knew he had survived the fall as well. A sharp shot of pain went through your stomach, but feeling no external wounds, you figured you had merely bruised a rib or two.

    Peering into the dark, you tried to see your surroundings. Everything was a pitch black, the only light coming from a small opening several feet above you. There was nothing to hold on to and nobody would be left to hear your cries. Not until all the fires had died out.

    “Shit,” you mumbled again, sighing loudly when you realized you were trapped.

    “Are you okay?” the Captain coughed, slowly moving your way.

    “Funny question. I would’ve sworn you wanted me dead. With the whole gun act and all.”

    “I was never going to kill you, [Last Name]. I fight you because you don’t give me any other choice. Not because I want to.”

    “Look at you being all righteous… But if you hadn’t noticed, Captain, we’re trapped. No one can hear us. No need to pretend.”

    He sighed. “I don’t know what Hydra told you about me, but I don’t kill people for fun.”

    “Your actions would suggest otherwise…” you replied stoically, remembering what had happened almost four years ago. “You especially like killing Hydra agents, don’t you? Like my parents, for example?”

    Steve turned around, frowning at your words. “Your parents?”

    You nodded, seating yourself on the ground, pulling your legs up to your face, resting your chin on your knees. “They worked at S.H.I.E.L.D…. They were on board of the Helicarriers when you and your team shot them down.”

    He turned his gaze from you and looked at the ground. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

    “Sure you are…”

    It remained silent for several minutes, in which the Captain tried everything in his power to get out of the hole you had fallen into. You watched him attentively, seeing the more he tried – and failed – the more frustrated he became. In one last attempt he threw his shield up, slamming it against the rocks above your head. The circular piece of vibranium bounced off the concrete and came back to its place in the Captain’s hand, taking several pieces of building down with it.

    A soft cry welled from Steve’s throat as a large rock fell on his shoulder and pinned him to the ground. You shook your head, letting the air fill your lungs in a long sigh.

    “Are you okay?” you asked, slowly pushing yourself from your place.

    “Funny question,” he bit down his teeth, pushing the piece of concrete from his shoulder, a nasty gash marking his arm, blood dripping onto the floor. “You’re right. We’re stuck. We’ll have to wait until help arrives. “

    You snorted, looking up at the now larger hole above you. “That could take a while. They probably think we’re dead. And if they don’t… we’re at least several feet beneath the ground, but if you feel like screaming your lungs out, by all means, Captain, be my guest.”

    “Do you have a better idea?”

    “I might,” you nodded, squinting your eyes at the piece of structure sticking out of the rubble above you. “See that support beam?” you asked, pointing up into the dark. “You think you can get me up there?”

    Steve pushed himself from the ground and looked up. “And then what? You escape and leave me here?”

    “Do you want to get out of here or not?”

    “Of course I do.”

    “Then you’ll need to trust me,” you said seriously. “Now, can you get me up there?”

    He looked up at the support beam again, sighing loudly. “I can try. If you run towards me and jump on my shield, I think I can lift you up. But you’ll have to be careful. Too much weight on the structure might make it collapse.”

    You nodded, though not feeling a hundred percent sure this was going to work. “Don’t worry. I’ve done things like this before.”

    “Why doesn’t that surprise me…” he shook his head, clenching his hand around the handle of his shield. “Ready?” he asked, while you walked all the way to the back of the space you were in, nodding at his words again. “Okay, on three. One. Two. Three.”

    You started running and jumped onto the vibranium shield. Using your momentum, Steve pushed you up, throwing you into the air. You could feel the air vibrate around you as you flew up. He had used all his strength, but you didn’t know if it was going to be enough. The support beam was still very far and you were already losing speed.

    As if it were a miracle though, you were able to reach the structure, grabbing the support beam with both hands. You could hear a relieved sigh coming from the Captain while you pulled yourself up. Dying embers burned all around you and you slowly pushed yourself from the rubble and onto the ledge of the pit you had been in. The building had collapsed around you and as you looked at the burned out walls and rooms you realized you had both been very lucky to be alive. If you had stood anywhere else you would have been merely ash and dust.

    For a moment you thought about running and leaving Steve here to escape on his own, or let his friends rescue him. Though when you heard him call out your name you felt a knot tighten in your stomach. Your boss wanted information from the Captain - that much was clear - but you also knew he would probably be more than thrilled to hear of Steve’s demise. So the real question was; what did you think was best?

    What did you want?

    You took in a deep breath and started looking for something to pull Steve from the pit. Most of walls had collapsed, leaving you with very few options. Though when you arrived at the training room, one of the lockers was still intact. You pulled it open with great force and took in a relieved breath when you saw that it contained a large piece of thick rope. If you had any luck it would be strong and long enough to help the Captain escape his death.

    You quickly ran back, thinking no one had ever been so lucky as you had today.

    “You’re an idiot,” you could hear Steve mumble to himself when you had arrived back at the pit. “Of course she’d leave you here… How could you have thought otherwise.”

    “Hey, Rogers,” you yelled at him, a smile curling your lips. “When you’re done talking to yourself, you think we can get out of here?”

    He turned around, looking up at you with a relieved expression on his face.

    “Here,” you said, throwing the thick rope down to him. You tied the other end around your waist and signalled him you were ready for him to climb up. The rope didn’t reach all the way to the bottom, but with a few attempts the Captain was able to grab it. He was a lot heavier than you had expected, but slowly you were able to pull him up, lending him a hand as he climbed out of the pit, pushing himself up from the ledge.

    “I must say you had me worried there for a second,” he panted, wiping the dust from his suit as you untied yourself and threw the rope aside, feeling the pain burn inside your stomach. “I thought you had run away.”

    “The thought crossed my mind,” you nodded, panting heavily.

    “But you didn’t… Why?”

    “I don’t have any orders to kill you, remember? Besides, what fun would it be if I left you here to die? You still owe me a decent fight. ”

    He looked at you seriously, not seeming to believe a word you had said. “You’re not as bad as you say you are, [Name],” he said, for the first time calling you by your real name. “Hydra has wanted me dead for years. I doubt they would have regretted my death. You know that as well as I do. Maybe you’re the one that is pretending.”

    You swallowed hard, evading your eyes from him, not wanting to think about the truth in his words. “Not everyone is who you want them to be, Steve.”

    “I was just–”

    “Save it,” you stopped him. “Let’s just get out of here and forget any of this ever–”

    “Why do we keep doing this?” he replied, interrupting you this time and frowning at your words. “We both know you don’t belong with Hydra. No matter who your parents were. You saved my life back there,” he continued, pointing at the place where you had pushed him aside before a large piece of concrete would have crushed him to death. “Why won’t you admit that to yourself? Why won’t you leave Hydra?”

    “You’ve got me all figured out, don’t you?” you whispered, shaking your head. “It isn’t that simple.”

    “Isn’t it?” he said seriously, following you with his eyes as you walked away from him and tried to find a way out of the burned down warehouse. “If you want I can–”

    “Don’t you think I tried?” you said angrily, taking a swing at him, though barely making any effort to really hit him. He caught your hand in his and you sighed, feeling tears blur your vision. “I can’t,” you shook your head. “I just can’t…”

    Before either of you could say something voices sounded from behind the rubble. In a cloud of dust the outer wall that was still standing caved in and a red and yellow iron suit flew in.

    “Found him!” Stark said, shining the light of his thrusters onto you. “Don’t move,” he told you, pointing his small missiles at your head.

    You swallowed hard, looking at your hand in Steve’s, for a moment remembering how it had felt on the dance floor when he had held you in his arms. You looked up at him, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. A small smile curled his lips, but you knew whatever it was that you were feeling now, was all just an illusion. Everything he had been telling you was just to get you to surrender to the Avengers. He didn’t care about you. How could he? He didn’t even know you. And if he would learn you were Sarah… He’d care even less.

    “I’m sorry,” you whispered, slowly pulling your hand from his soft grasp and kicking him back, knocking him onto the ground. You quickly started running, shooting past Stark before he could catch you.

     “Wait!” Steve yelled, though you didn’t hear, or wanted to, and kept going, without looking back. A shot of pain went through your body, but you ignored it, running as hard and as long as your feet would carry you, all the way towards one of the Hydra safe houses.

    No, you told yourself. You’re not doing this. Remember… Remember what happened. You pictured your father as he told you to punch harder, run faster; be better. Your mother who would always say you were the best agent they had ever trained.

    You felt absolutely exhausted when you arrived at the safe house and identified yourself at the entrance. You gave them the safe word and were let in without any further questions. Inside chaos still ruled the ranks. Agents were running around, discussing how the Avengers had found the base in New York so quickly after they’d tried to desperately to put them on the wrong track. Instead of emerging yourself in the next plan of attack – like you always did – you walk right towards the sleeping area, paying no attention to all the lingering stares and whisperes that followed you as you moved through the large apartment.

    “[Name]?” one of your colleagues mumbled, watching you as you walked towards one of the rooms and shut the door behind you. “You’re alive?”

    You ignored every call and eventually locked the room, knowing you couldn’t deal with any of them right now. You’re not as bad as you say you are… the Captain’s words sounded in your head. Maybe you’re the one that’s pretending… You took in a deep breath, letting yourself drop into the bed. You have no idea... you thought, pulling the covers all the way over your head.

    And for the first time since your parents had died, you cried.

TO BE CONTINUED...